"If it weren't for pickpockets I'd have no sex life at all."
Rodney Dangerfield
"It is impossible to obtain a conviction for sodomy from an English jury. Half of them don't believe that it can physically be done, and the other half are doing it."
Winston Churchill
"I know nothing about sex because I was always married."
Zsa Zsa Gabor

This new commode chair rocks!
"I think people should be free to engage in any sexual practices they choose; they should draw the line at goats though."
Elton John

It's laundry day. Just share, damnit.
"We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture."
Robin Williams

Baskin Robbins new flavor of the week.
"There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid."
Denis Leary

Scroll Call
The Caption Cavern


This costume rides up, honey.

Is this the Ladies Room lineup?
"When the authorities warn you of the dangers of having sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities."
Matt Groening

"When I'm good I'm very, 
very good but when I'm bad I'm better."
     Mae West

It's alright love. We'll get new batteries tomorrow.
"It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on."  Marylyn Munroe
"You know that look women get when they want sex?
 ...Me neither."  Drew Carey
"Girls are always running through my mind. They don't dare walk."
Andy Gibb
"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
George Burns

"A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous."  Ingrid Bergman

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