Did
Casanova Really Need the Oysters?
By Vlady Peters
Scientists are rubbing their hands together
with glee. A recent study of underwater creatures proves conclusively that
oysters have certain properties that could very well enhance performance
in the bedroom. Thus it follows, say the scientists in great satisfaction,
that Casanova’s reputation as the world’s greatest lover can now be
put down definitely to his voracious appetite for oysters.
But did Casanova really need the oysters?
Or did he simply like oysters?
There are, after all, other well-documented
lovers whose names have never been connected with oysters. Yet, like
Casanova, they were every bit as successful with women.
Take Mozart’s Don Giovanni, for example.
His conquest of over two thousand women, in at least five different
countries, makes Casanova’s 100 odd seductions look rather anemic.
There is not a whisper of a maritime diet
in Don Giovanni’s life. But there is certainly a common denominator
running through both these men’s attitude that could very well explain
their success with women.
Don Giovanni, like Casanova, was a man who
found every woman appealing. He loved the tall, he loved the short. He
loved the young, he loved the mature. He was as fond of the experienced
lady as he was of the innocent one. Dazzled by princesses and the
marchionesses, he was just as charmed by country lasses. Looks mattered to
him not a jot. A blonde or brunette, the thin or the voluptuous, it was
all the same to him.
Casanova may have been a little more
selective, but when he was standing on the corner watching all the girls
go by, his mind was certainly not on oysters.
He would watch with interest the changing
faces. The bold or the demure. The smiling or the sulky. The inviting, the
discouraging. Staring at them he would wonder about the kind of life this
or that woman lived. What made her happy? What made her ecstatic? What
were her secret yearnings and desires which she didn’t dare to disclose
to anyone for fear of being laughed at?
With patience he would soon discovered that
the little country girl wanted nothing more than to be treated like a lady
instead of being dragged into the bushes by the local yokel. He could see
under the aristocratic lady’s sophistication, a woman bored to tears,
dreaming of romance and adventure far away from her comfortable and secure
life.
Giacomo Casanova de Seingalt was only too
willing to give them what they wanted, and, their own dreams fulfilled,
the ladies were only to happy to go up to his bedroom to have a look at
his etchings. And yes, while entertaining them in front of a vigorously
burning fire, he would feed them and himself with oysters. But if they
were not as fresh as they should be, he could very well survive without
them.
Which reminds me, apart from reading about
the break-through study about the oysters, I’ve also just heard on the
radio of another interesting experiment. This one involving couples in a
relationship.
According to these most recent studies, it
has been proved conclusively that men who help their partners with
housework, have sex twice as often as men who don’t.
If anyone is interested in testing either
of these theories, share with us your findings.
Vlady is an author of two traditional
books, "The Complete Book of Australian Weddings" and "The
Small Organisation Handbook" and an ebook entitled "Honeymoon! A
Sizzle or a Fizzle".
Visit Vlady at her website http://www.vlady-celebrant.com
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2005 All Rights Reserved
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