People all over this
planet are having sex right now. They could be the info pulse one lane
over on this information super highway. Could be merging with your
info-pulses right this second. Wow. What a thought.
Sex Without Skin
The future history of sex?
But wait....is it sex? Do the words of sex on
a computer screen count? Are they intimacy? And where do they fit in on
the etiquette scale for social interaction? Interesting questions. They
are interesting, but becoming vital in our web-altered society.
Cyber sex or cybering as it's fondly referred
to, is a large part of many chatters lives. The entire act of sex and any
variety of its subcategories are practiced daily and nightly by couples
separated by oceans and cultures and financial impossibilities. Yet, many
many of those same people would never have dreamed that they could fall in
love or lust with words on a screen. A possible picture in email, although
many times, cyber couples fall in love without ever seeing the other's
face. Impossible you say? Ask them. They will tell you their feelings. And
they may also tell you that they've never fallen so deeply for
This is a huge debate now, especially on some
of the talk shows. Some people are of the opinion that anyone you might
meet from the net could only be a serial killer, stalker or
rapist/adulterer/etc. On the other side, you have happily married couples
who met on the web in a chat room or through email and are making a life
together now. Others have had heartbreaks and disappointments. They met
and didn't "click".
All the same variables as life and
relationships in "real time" outside the web. Yet what still remains is
that we have people loving and caring and going through emotions over
someone who is typing messages onto a small chat box. They see Times Roman
"I love you"s and words of lust. Is this real?
It most certainly is. Feelings cannot be
"unreal" or not real. A feeling is a feeling. It is there to tell us
something about the way our bodies and minds are reacting. It is there as
a naturally occurring device to warn/elate us in some way.
Consider this for a moment. You are a loving
and caring person. One day, you find you are now deaf and blind. Are you
incapable of love or a relationship because of these handicaps? Are you
forever to be isolated because of your sight or sound leaving you without
two vital senses? Most certainly not!
Yes, there are those online who lie about who
they are, where they live, single or married or how they look. The most
common lie is about a person's weight. People will drop a few pounds from
their weight knowing they would have time to lose it should plans for
meeting be made. But many or most are decent honorable people. Just like
you and me and our neighbors or family. People on the net are people. They
are not chat names or isp numbers. They type with feeling and we hope,
The net very much mirrors "real" life. The
same ups and downs. The same types of people. All types, cultures, color
and religions. The variety of people you can meet any given day on the web
is astounding. Make friends from all over the world. What an incredible
opportunity! World communication on a non-governmental level. Real people
talking about real things. And yes, between those "seeing " each other in
an online relationship, real interaction. The intercourse might be of a
different format, but when you combine emotion and words, they can have a
Cyber sex without emotion is totally similar
to a visit to a professional host or hostess. Prostitution is not an act
of love. It is functional. The prostitute, male or female, knows no
emotion for their client. Nor do they want to. Do it, get it over with and
relief is the end result, usually. The same holds true of functional cyber
Whether the participants choose to masturbate
and satisfy themselves, is entirely a private affair. It is no one's
business. And if they are deriving satisfaction from cybering, who has any
right to question or judge.
This does not include married or committed
people who "cheat" on their partners with a cyber partner. That will be
the topic of a future column. Please join me for a further look at life on
the internet. Until then....
Copyright - 2003